They keep looking at me

Ok...so this one isn't for the faint of heart. Turn back now before your retinas burn out from what you are about to read.

I was having a rather intellectual conversation with my hubby last night....at least I seemed to think it was. I got up to use the bathroom but turned to finish the topic first. After a few moments I realized he had absolutely no idea what I was saying. Noticing that I stopped talking, he just looked up and said "Put those things away, they keep looking at me." It took me a minute to realize what he was talking about.

Well, yes, it was my chest. I happened to be in a pair of baggy pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt with no bra (it was almost bedtime) and let's just say that I definitely didn't have to stuff with cotton what God had forgotten. Being that I was pretty much pregnant or nursing for the better part of three years, the size DD chest that I had grown accustomed to has now turned into an F. You flat chested gals need not throw tomatoes at me now, they are no fun at all! I will gladly be a donor to many of you!

So, here is the conversation as it happened:

Him: Put those things away, they keep looking at me.

Me: What?

Him: Those, they are distracting me.

Me: Well, nobody told you to look. And, besides, they aren't looking at you, they are looking at the floor.

Him: What? The floor?

Me: Yes, the floor. These girls haven't looked straight ahead in years. Right now, in fact, they are looking at the cat on the floor if you want to get technical about it.

Him: (rolling eyes) But I still like them.

At that, I walked into the bathroom and thought about it. It's quiet in there and I can do a lot of my best thinking in there even if it's just standing around doing nothing. Guys read in there, I think in there. If anyone has a problem with that, then so be it!

Anywho, I got to thinking about "them". I thought about how much "they" changed in the last few years. How much my whole body changed since having so many changes over the last three and a half years. I looked down at my body and thought that maybe my chest wasn't drooping just to droop. Looking down at my belly which was never firm but was never this "floppy" before made me really think about it. Maybe my chest is just commiserating with my belly and showing solidarity by not letting it be the only thing to head south. Maybe my chest felt sorry for my belly. I can live with that, a chest with sympathy.

This body, the one that lost and gained and lost and gained 30 to 50 pounds over the last few years is now a mom. The hips that used to fit easier into pants but now look like I'm wearing "riding" pants most of the time b/c of the saddle bags that now reside there. The middle never was flat but now it has more rolls then a bakery. How so much can change in such a small amount of time.

Now I'm sure the pregnancies alone did this to me. It could not have been any of those little miniature powdered doughnuts that I craved all the time or the 2 pound bags of M&M's that I downed in a week. Yes, my diet was wonderful during those cravings, wasn't it?

Before bed, I checked in on my kids as they slept. Little D was looking like a hit and run victim as usual. That child always has limbs in the most unnatural positions when he sleeps. Princess Grabby Hands, with those hands still for the first time that day, was sleeping in her usual "butt in the air" position with everything else curled under her.

I went in my room and looked down at my body once more. It seemed to look more like a soft place to sleep then a bunch of chubby rolls. It looked more like a big firm hip to hold a child that was tired after playing at the park then a saddle bag that made my pants fit funny. My chest looked like it was still deflated but at least I know they got that way for good reasons. Nothing too pretty about a deflated chest! Sorry, couldn't get any revelations on that one.

It's funny how your views of things in everyday life can change with just a glance of your kids. They change your life in all sorts of ways. Your days are busier. Your schedule becomes more hectic. Your time, body and life is no longer your own. But, you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I just have to hear one "I wuv you mom" and it all makes it worth while (even more so for me because of my son's disability). One nuzzle from your one year old little girl and the stress of the day melts away.

This body is now their safety net. It's their soft place to land. It's love. It's now me and what I'm all about and I'm loving every minute of it even on my most stress filled day!

Mommy's on Strike!

Here is the blog that I wanted to publish last night but couldn't because I couldn't upload my pictures because of the snafu that happened last night that I wrote about so I am now writing it today!

Did that make any kind of sense? Don't worry, I wrote it and have absolutely no idea what it means! To see what I am talking about...please read the Blog from 9/1/07.

Considering we've had at least one person sick for the last 7 days (meaning mommy in one form or the other plus the remaining 3 in the house with colds).....MOMMY IS ON STRIKE! I just don't have it in me to even care if my house is clean.

Those that are clean freaks and germ-o-phobes may want to look away from the following pictures. I will not take responsibility for you if you pass out or get sick at the following sights of my house! The rest of you....read on!

This is my living room after 3 days. Not bad you say? Well....I have spared you the kitchen sink filled to capacity with dishes, the couch filled with dirty kids clothes, my hamper so overflowing that it's now spilling to the floor and the garbage can that has a bag sitting next to it because the can is so full that we cannot fit even a raisin on top without it falling off. We have LD in a tent that now blocks the hallway and PGH pounding away on a toy.....and subsequently my head. Oh my aching head....


As you can see...the kids have decided that 50% of the toys in this house now need to be in the living room. Little D has taken up mechanics and is now trying to figure out how the walker works from the bottom up...er down (since it's upside down). I just thank God that Princess Grabby Hands wasn't in it when he decided it needed to be flipped over. She is engrossed in The Upside Down show on TV. Yes, my toddler watches TV and her eyes haven't burned out of her head yet. Sue me!


Apparently, the walker is now fixed and LD is turning back upright. The dog has taken it upon herself to make sure that the plate on the floor that LD flipped over has nothing left on it. I guess she figured she would help with the dishes. Thanks old girl but I don't need your special doggy spit detergent. PGH is still clueless that her brother is doing anything behind her. She is so used to the extra loud noises he makes that she is oblivious to him until she wants to play with him.

If you noticed, the first picture has PGH standing. Yes, she CAN walk but no she WON'T walk. PGH can get places faster on her hands and knees, thank you very much. LD is all over the living room while PGH is pretty calm and in one place. She is my mellow child (aside from the grabby hands) while LD is the fart in a bottle that needs to bounce through the house like a super ball!

Well, mommy is feeling a little better. The kids are rambunctious again so I guess they are on the mend and daddy dealt with the garbage as well as getting my camera card reader thingy (yes, yet another technical term) this morning so we must be feeling better. I guess we have no choice but to make this house look acceptable now.

I know if someone came by unexpectedly I would have to tell them we were robbed or a tornado hit JUST our house or something to explain the disaster. I am so glad we have no company expected this Labor Day weekend!

I hope this goes to show you just how UN SUPERMOM I AM! Those of you in my shoes...I hope I made you feel better about not getting your housework done and you know that not everyone is as efficient as they try to make themselves out to be. Not all of us can be neatnicks, ya know! We have to be different to put a little spice into life! My motto? Clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be happy!

Now back to your regularly scheduled cleaning!

>>>>WHERE IS MY MAID??? Oh yeah....I'm it. I thought M is for MOM and not MAID...but that is another blog maybe in the future!<<<<