Monday, October 29, 2007

The bandit strikes again!

If this stinking thing doesn't quit getting into my garbage I'm going to scream!

Ok...want a funny visual? I actually was throwing baby red potatoes at it trying to get it to leave my yard. I can just imagine how that looked! LOL Yeah...I'm a dork. You don't have to tell me.

I tried calling animal control before and they won't deal with it. They told me to buy a trap. Ok...then what? I'd have that trap out for weeks b/c there is like a whole family of the little stinkers living around here. I live near a wooded area...they like my place!

I let the dog out and she chased the bandit up our fence. The determined little gus just stood on the top of the fence waiting for the dog to go back in so he/she could go back to what he/she was doing. Talk about gall!

DH wants to get an air rifle just to encourage the bandits to stop coming back. I don't know if I like that idea but I don't blame him since he is the one cleaning up their messes all the time.

Here is his/her mugshot in case you spot the critter! There is no reward other then you that you are keeping our property clean of garbage!

An act of God...

...or a least a half a dozen church ladies. That is what it took to get my bedroom decluttered. WOW DOES IT LOOK GREAT!

I didn't know you were supposed to be able to see anything below your shoulders while standing up in a vanity mirror! Who knew you were supposed to be able to shut ALL of your drawers of your dresser? You mean to tell me that clothes are not supposed to be packed tighter then sardines in the closet?

WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY TELL ME THESE THINGS? I would have done this a lot sooner! Ok...so that last part was a tall tale, but it sounded good!

So anyways...I can actually lay in my bed and not feel like my room is going to attack me. I can walk all the way to both dressers without tripping on anything. I can pull clothing out of the closet without having 5 things fall of the hangers from the friction! These feats are right up there with the parting of the Red Sea! I just never thought it would happen!

Believe it or not...I actually got rid of 2 garbage bags worth of yarn! That is a true miracle! I donated it to the craft group at the church because they can always use scrap yarn. I think that in itself is a huge event. ME PART WITH YARN???? WHO KNEW? LOL

THANK YOU MOPS LADIES FOR ORGANIZING THE UNORGANIZABLE!!!! YOU GALS ARE THE GREATEST!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

So we are on to conquering my bedroom

Yes...I do mean conquering. When we changed our office into Little D's room so Princess Grabby Hands could have the nursery...well...all the stuff had to go somewhere and only a small amount of it could go in the new desk in the living room. Can you guess where the rest went?

Since that cold February day (yes, PGH slept in our room for quite a while out of me being too lazy to switch rooms) we have harbored things such as a sewing machine, a few huge Rubbermaid containers full of yarn, a book shelf, some cork boards and many other items in our bedroom. Let's just say that my bedroom looks more like Sandford and Son instead of Martha Stuart.

I have some lovely MOPS mommies coming buy to help. They are organizers extraordinaire. Either they are that darn good or they just don't know what they are getting themselves into! I probably have bottles of hair products and perfume in there that have dust on their dust. Mounds of clothes that don't have a home.

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS! I NEED A RETREAT IN MY OWN HOME!

You can't tell I'm excited, can you?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

BLOW OUT!

We dropped Little D off at grandma's today and brought Princess Grabby Hands in for her 15 month check up and shots. We were almost home and went over some tracks and POW...the tire blew. The other back tire went slowly flat because there was a nail in it. OH JOY!

SO...we were just 2 blocks from the local tire place so we slowly drove there and they are looking at it now. The one with the nail can be fixed but the other one is a complete blow out. There goes about $90. Isn't that grand? Well, wait a minute...I'm glad it wasn't a grand. I guess it could have been worse.

I left hubby there and walked home with PGH in the stroller because I didn't know how long it was going to take and with PGH just getting shots, I didn't want her having to sit in a tire place for a couple of hours and being uncomfy. Thank God for me being very prepared because I had plenty of blankets in the van to cover her with and cover most of the stroller with because it's super windy out and only 50 degrees. It was about a mile from the tire place to home. Not a bad walk but considering poor baby just got shots. Let's just say she wasn't pleased.

Not how I wanted to spend my morning but what can ya do? SIGH....

PGH is only 15 months and already 32 inches tall. She is 25 lbs 8 oz. My little girl is going to be an Amazon woman! Considering she started life on the 20th percentile for height and weight for the first 5 months....she sure made up for it now! She is now in the 88th percentile for height and 83rd percentile for weight. She is just a really tall girl! SOB....I don't want my baby to grow up yet!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Squirming Cat + Scissors + Wrist = Tetanus Shot

So first of all...I guess I should not be using small embroidery scissors for cutting matted hair off of a wiggly cat. D'OH!

Cats are very squirmy, in case you didn't know. Scissors that are as skinny as a fork tine plunging into your wrist does not feel good, in case you didn't know. AND...trying to figure out when you had your last tetanus shot at 10:00 at night can be frustrating, in case you didn't know.

So now that you've had the bullet points, here is what happened:
I was trying to cut matted hair out of my over furry cat. He usually doesn't move too much but I guess he was just in a mood and decided in mid cut that he needed to flip off of my lap. The scissors slipped and rammed right into my wrist causing one side of the blade to go about 1/2 inch into my wrist. THANK GOD IT MISSED THE ARTERY BY AN INCH! That would have been horrid!

As I was trying to get the pain to stop, I thought that maybe I may need to get a tetanus shot. Now to the normal people, this shouldn't be too hard to figure out. BUT to an accident prone Annie...this is hard to figure out. I have cut or hurt myself more times then I can imagine. Couldn't be that I don't use the right tool for the job...NOOOOOOO! >insert eye roll here<

Well, going back through the years by each mishap, hubby said he didn't recall me getting a shot since we've been together and that was 8 years ago next month. Then I had to recall the 2 years before that. I realized that I must have gotten one at least 11 or 12 years ago when I cut my hand on a metal blind while working at a blind factory. That had to be it.

Off I went the next morning for a shot. Oh fun. I was ready for them to take me away in a straight jacket thinking that I tried to off myself or something because of it being on my wrist. I can tell you that if someone was trying to commit suicide, scissor puncture to the wrist is not the first choice they would go with.

So now it is a day later and my arm is killing me! The wrist feels ok. It's where the shot was that feels like a professional wrestler socked me in the arm. OUCH! I can't wait for this knot to go away now.

So...at least I'm good for another 10 years...right? >another big eye roll here<

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Yes it really is our anniversary

And the whole day has went by and I don't think either hubby nor I even thought to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to each other. What does that say about us? LOL

We aren't mad at each other. We aren't even frustrated with each other. I just don't think either of us has it in us to think of this day as any other day. It just is what it is.

So anyways....it's been 6 years since we tied the knot. We got married on Sweetest Day in 2001 just 39 days after the Twin Towers were attacked. How's that for starting your marriage off realizing how much you really mean to each other? We knew from that point on how fleeting life was and there are no guarantees that we will be here tomorrow. I guess that has made us respect and love each other that much deeper because we can't know how long we will have each other.

Well, onward and upward with the happier stuff. We enjoyed the morning at the park with the kids. While Little D found it fun to try to leave with other families (I guess we just aren't meeting his standards or something)...Princess Grabby Hands decided to wander the streets...LITERALLY! She kept making a bee line for the parking lot keeping mom and dad (mainly daddy) on their toes. What a little stinker. Apparently the fun park stuff wasn't doing it for her...she wanted to go play out in traffic!

Six years have passed since we said I do. Are we more in love? Maybe. Are we sick of each other yet? I don't think so. Hey...neither of us has ripped the others head clear off his neck. I think that says something right there! LOL

So this year starts the 7 year itch. I doubt it will effect us in any way. I don't either of us has any energy to want to start a new relationship with anyone else. I doubt either of us would find anyone better for each other anyways. We balance each other too well. While hubby is an eternal pessimist, I'm the cheerleader optimist. Even when I am in a funk, hubby turns it around and becomes the cheerleader for me. We just switch roles seamlessly sometimes as the need arises.

So here is to another 6 years and beyond. I just pray that we will both be on this earth to grow old together and see our grandchildren and great grandchildren. We have to be able to spoil with abandon someday don't we? Can't do it to our own kids or else pandemonium would ensue....have to wait for grandchildren!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Even licensed professionals shouldn't color their hair on their own...

Well, I started out with drab medium brown hair. I have no clue if that is my real hair color. I haven't had just my own hair color since I was 15 years old. That is another story though...it was the 80's...I had to be a bleach blond! LOL

Anywho...I decided I wanted blond highlights. Well, more like streaks. I wanted them to stand out a bit but not be totally bright. I guess I'm no longer making sense here, but I digress. I was too lazy to go to the beauty supply store and do it professionally with the right supplies so I decided to do a box of highlighting stuff from the store. How the heck does the normal person do the streaks right when a licensed professional can't do it the way the box tells you to? This is ridiculous.

I have my hubby help me. He is going off of what I was telling him to do and apparently not getting it. My hair came out striped and very uneven. Let me tell you....I was not going out of the house like that. The blond was TOOOOOO blond and it was in funky chunks (not funky in a good way).

Strike two...An hour after the first mess up, I get hubby to go buy another box of color. I tell him to pick up a dark red to cover up the streaks and hope that I end up with dark red hair with strawberry highlights. The only way to describe the color that resulted from that application is "OH MY GOSH IS THIS RED!" I think if I went outside someone would think my head was on fire and douse me with a bucket of water. This cannot stay either. We won't even go into the fact that the blond now looks rather orange and still splotchy.

So now on to try number three. The next morning we couldn't go to church because the kids were sick. I guess part of me was relieved because I didn't want to go their with hair that looked as if Satan had a hand in picking the color (totally not hubby's fault...the color looked great on the box). I slap a hat on my head and run to the store myself.

I find a nice neutral light brown and figure that it would blend the blond (er..orange blotches) and tone down the red. I shove this third color in less then 24 hours on my head and wait the 25 minutes. I wash it out and this is what I now have:



Not that it's bad, it's just not what I had planned on. I wanted my medium to light brown hair with blond highlights. I got dark reddish auburn hair instead. Oh well. At least I am presentable and am getting compliments on it. Maybe next time I won't take the *ahem* easy way out and do it right the first time. >INSERT HUGE EYE ROLL HERE!<

Onto the next order of business...

Two words...

CRACK KILLS!!!!



Yes...that is Little D and Princess Grabby Hands watching TV. I have no clue why her diaper was so baggy but I just had to get a picture of her little baby butt crack hanging out. It was too cute to pass up.

Now back your regularly scheduled web surfing....

Sunday, October 14, 2007

I'm going to glue his butt to the bed

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I think we have a record tonight. I lost count but I do know that little D was up a minimum of 15 times tonight. It's so hard to stay mad at a little boy yelling "I NEED A KISS" from the other room.

Let's see...the list of excuses tonight:

"I need a kiss." 4 times
"Look at my cars." twice
"Car on the lines." (on his street rug in his room)
"Need trains on my bed." (I don't think so young man. Trains can stay on the train table.)
Threw a foam chair over the gate in his doorway and then crawled over and landed on it.
"Shmuzzy bear need shoe." (Bear's shoe fell off...or rather was taken off to give LD a reason to get out of bed.)
"Need more cars."
Comes out with fireman hat.
Comes out with foam chair to watch TV.

The list is probably longer but my frazzled brain may have forgotten some of the excuses.

I would never do it but there are nights that duct tape and bungee cords pop into my mind! LOL

Friday, October 12, 2007

The adventures of Calamity Jane

Yes, I'm talking about Princess Grabby Hands. No, we haven't officially changed her name but I am contemplating it after this past week!

I feel like that commercial "It will be a miracle if she makes it to 2." She came into this world and within 3 weeks Little D dropped a board book on her head. I think that should have been an prophesy of things to come.

Within this week the child has fallen off of 4 chairs (thankfully they are children's chairs and not regular ones), got a minor shiner from tripping over the end of a wooden slide in a toddler area, had a bruise on her shin (no clue where it came from), bumped her head multiple times on various items and got shoved off of a mini-trampoline that is for LD's therapy. I wonder who could have shoved her....hmm......can you even dare to guess! LOL

It will truly be a miracle if she makes it to 18 months much less 2 years old. The child is definitely Calamity Jane. I will be shocked if she makes it to her second birthday without stitches. Then again, I said the same thing about LD and he hasn't had stitches yet so I'm amazed at him as well.

I think I have a lot of worry ahead for years to come. Oh fun!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Gotta love selective hearing

Why is it that a child who cannot hear his name when it is being shouted from three feet away 20 times can hear the ear splitting crash of two marshmallows colliding in mid air?

I can literally be just a few feet from Little D shouting his name numerous times and he won't even flinch. I feel sorry for his future wife! He has the "male" selective hearing times 10! AND...yes, we've had his hearing checked as well as looked for fluid in the ears. He just doesn't hear what he doesn't want to hear.

This same child can hear me pulling one little jellybean out of a bowl from the opposite end of the house and come running out with his hand open. Where is this super sensitive hearing when I am calling him to pick up toys?

I know when LD is back in his room with Princess Grabby Hands that he is trying to pull her into his ways! She sometimes can be the same way! Bring out some food of any sort and PGH comes toddling through so fast there is smoke coming from her tootsies!

Maybe that is the key...I need to stop calling for them and just start rustling wrappers and bags out in the living room. Maybe they'll catch on too fast but I might fool them for at least a week or so!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Oh Pumpkin, Where Art Thou

Today was PUMPKIN PATCH DAY at the Little D and Princess Grabby Hands household. Grandma treated us and Auntie came along for the ride! What a great day!

From singing chickens:









To train rides with mom and dad:









Fun was had by all! LD got to root for pig number one (Sqealy Ray Cirus) and his little porker took first place. Here he is cheering his piggy on with Grandma (his most favorite person in the world).



PGH helped cheer on the piggies with Daddy.







Here he is going up to accept his sticker for being a #1 PIG ROOTER and his first place ribbon. He wouldn't let me take a picture with the ribbon.




PGH sits among the giant orange things, of which she has no idea what they are, while LD searches for just the right pumpkin.





LD gets to pick a pumpkin. Of course he NEEDS the 31 lb pumpkin. What kid doesn't? I guess when you are as cute as he is and the apple of Grandma's eye, you can get her to pay $9 for a pumpkin! LOL


PGH is tuckered out. It's been a long day for her majesty! Why can't I have a ride when I am tired at the end of a fun day? No fair!





I still want my stinking Alpaca farm so I can make my own yarn and sell it on eBay! What a cute, hungry Alpaca. This one ate almost my entire little cup of carrots! We couldn't resist her (at least I think it was a her) beautiful, huge eyes!


What a great day. It was 84 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze. It was almost empty in there because it was just after the school kids left from the field trips and just before parents got off work to bring in more kids. There must have only been about 50 people in the whole place (not including workers). What a perfect time to get there (1:30 pm).

Oh...Just to bring a smile to your face...here is a little video of LD dancing with the Can Can Chickens. He loves them. AND NO...It's not my foot tapping him on the butt. That is Auntie's foot! LOL

You've heard of Dancing With the Stars! Now watch Dancing With the Chickens!
video

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Why must I be the keeper of the toilet paper?

Am I the only adult capable in this house to change the roll? I guess so!

I can almost guarantee that if there is a roll that is almost empty, hubby will use all but 2 sheets of toilet paper to avoid changing the roll. You know....IT'S NOT EMPTY YET....as the excuse. Yeah, like what can I do with 2 sheets of toilet paper? Pick a booger? I couldn't even blow my nose with that small amount!

The last time I went into the bathroom I made sure to tell hubby to bring a roll in with him since it is almost empty. That was earlier this afternoon. I go in there a few minutes ago (mind you this is now about 8 hours later) and find the roll with a few wisps of toilet paper hanging off of it and the new roll still sitting on the back of the toilet.

I think this is an epidemic. I know many other "Keepers of the toilet paper" as well and their complaints are the same. I guess pushing that spindle together to pop out, pulling the cardboard roll off, sliding the new roll on and then pushing the spindle back into the holder is just too hard.

Maybe we should start a school. "TOILET PAPER INSTILLATION FOR THE ROLL REMOVAL CHALLANGED 101" We'll save 102 for recognizing that the roll will be empty enough soon to make sure another roll is available for the next person in case they need it. I can guarantee that there would be a line of wives out the door signing up husbands and kids left and right. Now if we could actually get said husbands and kids to attend the class...that is the problem.


So...off I go keeping fannies wiped and keeping females from having to drip dry. Into the night I whoosh making sure that nobody is needing to yell through the door "I NEED A ROLL!" For I am KEEPER OF THE TOILET PAPER! The mightiest of all!

So join me! KEEPERS OF THE TOILET PAPER UNITE! Or is it untie? No matter, I will keep all toilet paper spindles filled or die trying! Or maybe it's try dying...no no no! Maybe do some tie dying? Whichever! AND I'M OFF! >Way off....just ask my hubby!<

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Let's play the "NOT STAY IN BED" game

I don't know who is worse lately...Little D or Princess Grabby Hands! Who knew that two children under 3 years old could play this game so well? Is there a private school that I don't know about that they are attending during nap time or something?

Here is the scenario:

I put them both in bed. PGH cries like I just put her down to be eaten by wolves or something. LD smiles and says NIGHT MOM and grabs his pillow. I know LD is just humoring me. PGH calms down and I think all is well.

Within 30 minutes LD will hop out of bed and bound into the living room. Usually it is "I got hiccups" or "Tie my bear's shoe (which is already tied, by the way)" or "I need kisses" or about 20 other phrases he has decided are great excuses for getting out of bed. Anyone have some duct tape for this kid? UGH! Bungee cords??? ANYTHING??? I'm desperate!

With LD, I follow the GET BACK IN BED now method and lead him in there. Works sometimes but not others. If only I had the patience of Supernanny! Yeah right! Does she even have kids? Patience is not for those that have them. Patience is for those that can give them back to their parents after a few hours!

So then LD gets...well...not quiet but at least he gets it that he has to stay in bed. Within an hour, PGH (who has been asleep this whole time) will wake up screaming bloody murder. I wait a few minutes thinking that maybe she just woke up startled and will go back to sleep. No...I am not ignoring her...well, maybe yes I am but this is a nightly pattern so I doubt anything is really wrong with her.

After about 3 to 5 minutes of the crying to get more pitiful, I finally check on her. She sits there with fear in her eyes and wants to come out of bed NOW! I pick her up to calm her. PGH is fine the second she is in my arms. I try to put her back down. No go. She wants to stay up now! SIGH....

I bring her to the living room and rock her for a little bit. She starts dozing off and I think "HEY...LET'S TRY THE BED THING AGAIN!!!!" As soon as I stand up her eyes pop wide open. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! I get her in her room and she cries her face off in the crib. I tell her goodnight and let her cry. It's usually over within about 5 minutes when she realizes that mom won't let her stay up all night.

Now it's even worse when Daddy is home. When PGH gets up, she flirts so horribly with Daddy that he will hold her for an hour! No wonder she is doing this nightly pattern. She knows Daddy will give in because she is just that darn cute! He is in huge trouble with that one. He can't resist my puppy dog eyes and she has them, too! We are so lucky that I control the check book or else this child would probably get him to buy her a toy store!

As I type, I have PGH finally calmed down and back to slumber land. LD is in his room counting loudly (as he does so often while trying to get to sleep) but it's getting quieter and slower so he must be calming down as well. Maybe, just maybe I'll get peace and quiet by 9:00 pm! I can wish can't I? As my grandpa used to say..."Sit on one hand and wish on the other, then see which gets filled first." Grandpas are so full of wisdom, aren't they? ;) I can't wait to get old and cantankerous so I can fill my grandkids with such wisdom! LOL

Monday, October 1, 2007

A root canal is nowhere near a filling!

Ok, when you are going in expecting just a filling and leave with a root canal...your day isn't that wonderful! BLEH!

I went in today expecting to get one or two teeth filled. I had a lost filling and a broken tooth but thought they were just filling worthy and even the person who did the initial exam said fillings. Well, that is the last time I listen to anybody but the person who will actually be working on my teeth!

I go in and am told that BOTH TEETH need root canals. OH FUN! I only got one done today. I go back for the other one at the end of the month. I have to wait on the crown portions because of the expense but at least the pain of the nerve will end.

Ok...you can hate me now...it wasn't that bad. I've heard horror stories of people jumping out of the chair. I was numbed up and it began. The dentist was the most soft spoken and calm man I have ever been around. Part way through I felt a little twinge and he said I would need another shot in the actual nerve. I was waiting to be hanging from the ceiling by my finger nails during this.

He injected the nerve and counted to 5 (expecting me to cling to the chair like a baby monkey hanging for dear life as it's mom swung through the jungle). I just sat there like nothing was happening. The dentist looked at me in shock. He asked if I had felt it. I said yes but it wasn't more then a tiny pinch that was gone in less then a second. He said that is the part everyone dreads and why they put off getting a root canal for long periods of time.

Either I have the highest pain tolerance on the planet or other people are just way too sensitive! I don't get it. I really didn't find it to be that big of a deal. Is root canal pain just over rated for extra sympathy?

So, now I sit here drooling on myself like an infant and hungry as all get out. I don't dare eat because none of it would stay in my mouth anyways right now. My lip feels about the size of Daffy Duck's beak! My tongue feels like someone shoved an over inflated hot dog in my mouth. Such a lovely picture I am painting for you, isn't it?

So go on and eat your lovely dinners and think of me with a mouth so numb that I could get 1000 piercings in it and not feel even one (not that I would but you get the picture) and talking out of the side of my mouth. WOOHOO! >INSERT HUGE EYE ROLL HERE<